Bad mood sleepy ramblings

We all know the feeling when we wish something very much , even if we know it’s a mistake, and it’s not good, and we should not have it. And we do our best in hoping to overcome somehow and make it not happen.
And despite this we still throw ourselves in a frenetic provoke-resist dance,resisting the urge to make it happen while same time provoking it to happen, trying to enjoy till last minute this silent dance, while same time being worried about what happens if the ‘dark side’ wins, if the dance ends, but still hanging on, and trying to push the dance forward and forward, resisting and provoking, dancing further and further, on the silent music of billion of ‘what if’s , ‘what if not’ s and billion other useless thoughs wandering through our head.
And we’re wondering .. would it be ok to get what we wish, even if we know, it’s not good, and the price we pay is way to big? and the dark side tempts us to pay the price .. Or should we walk on the other side? We wish it, and we try not to to have it, but the price has changed, and sometimes, this is still too big for us to pay it.

The dark side won today, even if until the last moment, felt like it is defeated. He (the dark side) lost couple of fights, but finally won the war. And even if I got what I wished, I don’t like it, I can’t change it, I have to live with, and I have to pay the price .. Time goes only forward. And yes, if you were wondering, the price for the wish is / was too high .. or maybe not. Maybe it’s just me, not ready yet to pay it ..

Life goes on.

Leave a Comment